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• (419): View more from Ohio

  so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  he is so annoying

  (513): View more from Ohio

  so stop sleeping with him

  (937): View more from Ohio

  yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I swear god or herbie drove my car home

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on

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