But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
