3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
