Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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