If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm passing your future prison.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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