ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
