forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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