so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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