I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
