I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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