Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
