it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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