it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
