Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
