porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
