So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
