I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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