Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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