Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
