I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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