Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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