Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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