I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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