he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
