I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
