I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
