A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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