Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
