But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
