we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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