Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
