in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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