im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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