Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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