I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
