Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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