I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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