ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
