2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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