Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
