the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
