I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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