i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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