We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Boobs speak an international language.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
