think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
