What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I forgot wine drunk hurts
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize