Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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