it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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