What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
