I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
