i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
