i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
