six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize