So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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