would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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